Too much on my plate

College, so far is not looking up to what it was suppose to be.
I have absolutely too much on my plate.
Working full time and school is basically impossible for me.
I fucked up BAD this year, and if I dont improve.. I'm seriously going to have no life,
and the life I wanted is going to be gone..
All I can do it try my fucking hardest next year..
:/

The Passing

The Hourglass is empty,
and the end is here.
Last night is the past,
and today is the beginning.

The beginning is the time of forlorn,
and the end was ample.
Your shadow will always be there,
within the depths of our hearts.

You will be missed,
and missed immensely.

You touched us all,
and left your mark.
Your character..
changed us,
filled us,
and helped us.

Your accent made us giggle,
made us learn,
made us smile.

Farewell,
to those who we care for,
that we love,
and cherish.
You won't be forgotten,
nor will you forget us.

So until next time,
We will raise our glasses to you,
with every dine,
and every shindig.
Until then,
this time will be known,
as The Passing.

I struggle

The feeling of not wanting to get out of bed in the morning,
Waking up not knowing how to make it through the day,
Not knowing who to be,
What you should do, or say.

Depression is hard to deal with,
It grabs you, dragging you in,
The tide is so strong,
You begin to drown you can’t swim.

The only way out,
At least in your mind,
It’s so simple, death,
So you walk that line.

The line where you wake up every day,
And have to decide,
Will today be the day,
That I finally die?

You wonder if the pain will ever cease,
If you will ever feel emotion again,
If you will ever recover,
If you will ever mend.

Then there was a break through,
Or maybe it was the breakdown I needed,
The love broke through,
The crop of light was seeded.

I went to seek help,
Many months of yelling and crying,
Moving past what had happened in my life,
No more living a life full of lying.

Little by little my days begin to brighten,
The sun comes out,
Sometimes though,
It’s still hard not to doubt.

I am on the path to getting better,
To respecting and loving myself,
To not feeling hopeless,
Although I am not restored to full health.

I know I still have work ahead of me,
But at least I am putting the past behind,
I will be rational eventually,
I will have a clear mind.