Too much on my plate

College, so far is not looking up to what it was suppose to be.
I have absolutely too much on my plate.
Working full time and school is basically impossible for me.
I fucked up BAD this year, and if I dont improve.. I'm seriously going to have no life,
and the life I wanted is going to be gone..
All I can do it try my fucking hardest next year..
:/

The Passing

The Hourglass is empty,
and the end is here.
Last night is the past,
and today is the beginning.

The beginning is the time of forlorn,
and the end was ample.
Your shadow will always be there,
within the depths of our hearts.

You will be missed,
and missed immensely.

You touched us all,
and left your mark.
Your character..
changed us,
filled us,
and helped us.

Your accent made us giggle,
made us learn,
made us smile.

Farewell,
to those who we care for,
that we love,
and cherish.
You won't be forgotten,
nor will you forget us.

So until next time,
We will raise our glasses to you,
with every dine,
and every shindig.
Until then,
this time will be known,
as The Passing.

I struggle

The feeling of not wanting to get out of bed in the morning,
Waking up not knowing how to make it through the day,
Not knowing who to be,
What you should do, or say.

Depression is hard to deal with,
It grabs you, dragging you in,
The tide is so strong,
You begin to drown you can’t swim.

The only way out,
At least in your mind,
It’s so simple, death,
So you walk that line.

The line where you wake up every day,
And have to decide,
Will today be the day,
That I finally die?

You wonder if the pain will ever cease,
If you will ever feel emotion again,
If you will ever recover,
If you will ever mend.

Then there was a break through,
Or maybe it was the breakdown I needed,
The love broke through,
The crop of light was seeded.

I went to seek help,
Many months of yelling and crying,
Moving past what had happened in my life,
No more living a life full of lying.

Little by little my days begin to brighten,
The sun comes out,
Sometimes though,
It’s still hard not to doubt.

I am on the path to getting better,
To respecting and loving myself,
To not feeling hopeless,
Although I am not restored to full health.

I know I still have work ahead of me,
But at least I am putting the past behind,
I will be rational eventually,
I will have a clear mind.

I Promise

This life is complicated,
Full of strugle and strife,
Some events hurt you bad,
Like the sharp edge of a knife.

Yet when I speak with you,
I forget all the wrongs I have been delt,
My body and soul is filled with warmth,
All my worries begin to melt.

Although our worlds seem so far apart,
We really are in the same place,
Searching for something more,
A new touch, a new smell, a new taste

I open myself to you,
My body, mind, and heart is yours for the taking,
As long as you promise to be faithful,
No lies, no fibs, no faking.

In turn I'll promise you many things,
To care about you like no other,
To hold you, kiss you, and miss you,
My feeling will never stutter.

I will be here for you,
through thick and thin,
I will never give up on you,
I will stick through the end.

Know my love,
That I will be here,
And that it is you I hold,
In my hear so dear.

Untitled

I sit on this rock

Above the water way

Reminiscing about the day

That we let slip away.

The path that led me here

That once shone so beautiful

Is now dark and grey

So different from that day.

Hand in hand

Full of love and laughter

We walked this trail of happiness

In our fairy-tale ever after

As the days go on

Our love will slowly fade

But the memories we shared together

Will forever stay...

In my heart.

-Written in 2006.

Mixed Signals

Its completely and utterly confusing
its like math with me,
something I can not comprehend

Its like a different language,
or a different culture.

Why can't it be simple?
Or at least not as hard.

I hate these feelings
that you give to me.

Do you want me to make a move?
or do you not want to?

Just let me know,
so I can lean in,
and give you that kiss.
That kiss that will change everything.

Could this be?

Ahh. :) I've had an amazing night, and got to know what seems to be an amazing person. I'm not expecting anything out of it, which is the mind setting I need to be!
Its the start of a great friendship.



Maybe more in the future. :)

Who knows.


I'm just not going to think that far ahead.

:)

What is this?
What can I expect?
I feel as if its a mystery,
and it makes me nervous.

I resent it,
and try to stop myself,
I just seem to be attracted to it,
to pain.

Im slowly being drawn in deeper,
and I keep catching my grip,
And I don't know whether you are doing the same.

I dont know whether I want to make my mind up about you,
whether its worth it,
or whether you want it.

I just wanted to tell you..
that I can't do........

Text Message Recieved

:) is all it read..
and I erased everything I was once going to say.

The End Of The End

And the Devil came to me
in a dream.
Said, "The world is not what it
seems."
"Oh dreadful evil serpent,
whatever do you mean?"

"It's dying quick and soon
He'll come.
You know His name,
the Holy One.
So pick your side and
pick it well,
pick it wrong and
you're mine in Hell."

"You know what I picked,"
said I,
when the dream began to fade.
As I opened my eyes,
I soon realized,
A magnificent trumpet was played.

Trying Out Charcoal

My first attempt at charcoal since high school. Didn't turn out that great but it was fun to do. And messy haha. I'm still trying to get the shading and highlighting down (It's a learning process). Not as easy as pencil let me tell ya. Wish the fog at the bottom of the trees and the sky turned out a little better but I know erasing would have probably ruined the whole thing. Oh well :)

Hope everyone is having a wonderful day! Any tips on charcoal drawing are much appreciated. Thanks! :)

What's changed?

I'm the same person,
in the same house,
the same friends
and the same values.

But whats changed?
You treat me differently,
like I've killed something,
or someone.

You ignore me now,
like I'm nothing,
and thats what it makes me feel like,
like nothing.

So whats changed?
Did I do something terrible,
without my knowing?
Or do I just make you angry now,
because I'm myself?
Or is that I'm content with my life,
and don't need material items to fulfill my self want,
need,
or love.
Unlike you.

You said I was your bestfriend at one point in time,
but it seems to be all lies,
that run through my head every second,
of everyday.

I just do not understand,
why this has to be,
what happened?
Whats changed?

Once again.. Another Rant

Ranting here, helps me so much. So I apologize in advance..

Thank you, for just locking my new puppy up in my room.. So he could shit on my packback <--- LOL Which I thought was funny. But wtf. He chewed up two pairs of flip flops, my pack of gum and my new slippers! WTF. All of my roommates are home.. which means he can be fucking out of my room and roam so you guys can watch him? Okay, sorry that he chewed on part of your battery charger cord for your xBox.. I dont mind for Miles to be in my room while no one is home.. But when everyone is home? What the fuck. Seriously? That is kind of selfish to be honest. Maybe I'm overreacting, but it just makes me mad to think that I seriously, took care of two of my roommates dog (Bf and Gf's dog) for 4 months out of my stay here.. and you can't even handle watching him for a few hours while I am at work? Thank you once again. Thank You for being the BEST roommates ever.

Old Revolver

Far from finished, I still have a lot of shading and detail to do but I'm taking a little break on it to work on a painting. So what do you guys think? I have a ton of tweaking to do on the barrel, getting the lighting/shading right and everything.

Happy New Year

It's about to be a New Year authors. I am very excited to see what is in store for the blog and every one's creative ways. I think it is time to kick it up a notch on this blog. It has severely slowed down. Hopefully together we can all get it back to running smoothly and maybe even get some other people to join in. Let's all work together and make 2011 a GREAT year for Writer's Library!!!!!

Yours Truly,
Dustin_Shane

Just a rant

First off,

What the fuck is your problem?
You tell me, "oh, try to get done at work early because I don't want to get home then go back out to get you." Well guess what,
I was done AT CLOSE, when you asked me to be.. and oh wait, You weren't fucking there, and asked me to get another ride? So what the fuck? You can't keep a promise? because you are "tired" and dont want to go back out to get a friend/roommate, that is not even 3 miles away from our house! WTF. Its not always about you, nor does the world revolve around you. I'm sorry you have to get me from work MAYBE once a week... MAYBE! I'm trying to get a car so I won't EVER ask you for another favor. I'll just do it myself. You won't have to do anything. GAHHH!

Then,

Don't be all pissed off at me because I didn't go to Best Buy to get Directv... Because all we would have had was a fucking $250 gift card to there that you would blow it on stupid shit... We would not have got the shit we have now if we would have gone to best buy.. So don't act all butt hurt when I dont agree, because first off, My opinion in this house, matters a lot, because I'm the one dealing with the Landlord, the cleaning, and your dog who you dont take care of but maybe three times a week..

This shit is bullshit. I'm ready to have my own car so I'm not stuck here all the damn time...

Sorry for the rant. It just needed to happen. LOL.

The way you make me feel

You are so stubborn,
and its annoying,
just like your face,
your voice,
your laugh
and the way you present yourself.

Why don't you just leave me alone?
Or hurry up and leave this Area...

You think I'm self-centered,
and a dick.
A stereotypical "gay" person,
a hateful person
a kid.

I'm none of which you say.

That's just your opinion,
and I do have self-confidence,
and I'm not stereotypical,
I'm one of the most caring people you will ever meet,
and I am a kid.
A kid that works hard for what he has,
that struggles,
and stresses,
so get off my back.

I'm not jealous either,
But I do hate you,
and I can't stand your face.
your voice,
your laugh,
and the way you present yourself...

You always ask how you make me feel,
Well,
This is..
The way you make me feel.

Temptation

You make me feel amazing,
just the way I like.

Its bad for me,
yet I continue to do it,
but only in moderation.

I love you,
and hate you.

You make me think,
understand,
you slow things down.

You slow things down...
You tempt me.

Hey Readers And Authors

The blog has been slow for a little while now. Which is alright. I am aware that busy times will stop many of us all from posting works. Which is alright as well. In fact I have been very busy as of late with preparations to move to the Western Shore. I myself have not even looked at the blog for a week or so. I have not given up though on our community we started. And the point of this post is to tell you all not to give up either. There is no limit to how long this blog can last. I am so happy with everything on here and it remains very inspiring to me to continue my own creations. I hope you all will do the same. Keep on creating! Much love to you all.

Unfamiliar Footfalls Pt. 3

After staring into the darkness in terror for a while I built up the courage to go to the doorway. I peered into the blackness for a second and shut the door. The temperature in my room slowly became normal again. I went back to my bed and layed down. This couldn't be Daddy messing with me, he wouldn't take the time to try to scare me like this.

I rested my head back on my soft pillow and thought. All the while I had my eyes glued to the bedroom door. I woke in the morning realizing I had dozed off. I was exhausted, but the events of last night still swarmed questions in my head. Mommy was cooking breakfast, and the smell of bacon and eggs got me out of bed and into the kitchen.

Should I tell Mommy about what had happened? I was sure that if i said anything she would just blow it off as nonsense. I decided to keep my mouth shut. After breakfast I spent most of my day outside in the dry heat, anything to stay away from Daddy's abuse. He was drinking and angry today, he and Mommy were fighting. This was my only escape.

Nightfall finally came and I anticipated the worst from what I thought to be some ghostly apparition. Daddy wasn't a worry at the moment, he had gotten wasted and left the house for the night and I could hear Mommy in her room crying from the days events. I didn't know how I could help her or what to say to make things better. Words couldn't make things better right now. I stayed in bed for hours waiting for the encounter I had the previous night. There was nothing. It was a peaceful night.

Forbidden Love- With wisdom of age

IN REPLY TO A YOUNG WOMAN

That was beautiful, and sad,
and true.
I was a poet once,
but long ago.
The words have run together for me now,
like water colors in the rain.

Too many hurts to feel,
too many tears to conceal,
too many nights of pain.

You are a mirage to me,
a phantom always just beyond my reach.
An ageing man's fantasty-lost youth.

I feel the years in my movements these days.
When I let my guard down.
My eyes are darkening,
the blackness of a waning life.

Fifty isn't so bad, the younger folks tell me.
"Yeah", I say.
Try it.

I don't want to toss this aside,
but I will put it away.
A treasured book,
placed lovingly bacck in its place,
on the shelf from whence it came.

With a smile,
and a tear,
"Goodbye", my dear.