Forbbiden Love-A youth's perspective

TO AN OLD MAN:

I don't want to say goodbye,
I'm dependent on you.
I take a breath to sigh,
I know I'm not addicted.

You've been my friend,
but more importantly my dearest.
The one to help me mend,
working through my broken past.

I don't dare say those three words,
although they try to escape my lips.
Should I cut the cords,
that tie me to you.

I cannot get you out of my head,
your words swarm my mind.
I'm afraid I'll feel dead,
if I let you go.

I know I'm asking for you to risk too much,
your family; your life.
Just for a simple touch,
a soft kiss at night.

I'm so confused about you,
where this should go.
What should I do,
I cannot seem to hide.

I push you away from me,
harsh words tell lies.
Maybe I'm just to blind to see,
I'd prefer an angry to a sad "goodbye."

I guess deep down I know the truth,
that you and I will never be.
Maybe my youth,
is why I believe.