Something I Will Never Be

I scratch my nails into my skin,
just to see that beautiful red once again.

To feel something other than sorrow,
fake feeling need borrowed.

Too much anger to see straight,
my heart seems to be filled with hate.

Praying to a god I can't believe in,
has me wishing for a new life again.

To just disappear would be too satisfying,
so I spend my days and nights crying.

Too hard for me to express how I feel,
but too hard for me to just deal.

I can't help but to want to completly quit,
so simple for the joys of life to be slit.

All these thoughts run through my head,
and so many more that cannot be said.

As I scratch myself out of me,
constantly trying to become something I will never be.